A collegue asked me the other day, "How does it feels to be a father?" And at the time I told him it's awesome. I enjoy it and I am truly blessed to be a father of two beautiful, talented, loving individuals.
But ultimately being a father leaves me with the feeling of the unknown. The thing with parenting is you tend to get your results of whether or not you succeeded at parenting at the end of your children's childhood. I won't really know if the seeds of wisdom, discipline, confidence and value really took root in their spirits until it comes to fruition in their lives.
It has been a simple goal of mine to be the kind of man my daughter would marry and I feel proud and confident in that union. Also, to be the kind of man my son would want to be and I will be proud and admire him. But I do not know what all I am doing now will be cemented in their beings. Which conversation would they remember most? Which chastising remark will they resent the most but appreciate later? Which hug will be the best? Which of my absences be the worst?
I am far from perfect and I have my fair share of baggage I have accumulated through these near three decades of life here on Earth. I just hope that I can continue to show these two beautiful souls what unconditional, unwaivering and unprompted love truly feels like throughout their entire lives.
For I do not how the story ends for us, but please know Rayna and Rawson you have truly taught me the love of God and I will make it my mission to ensure I am an embodiment of that for you both and who ever you bless to share your lives with.
